Hypnotherapy For Anger Management
Anger is a very natural response to fear, danger and, occasionally, frustration. Unfortunately, it is often also a learned response, something we learn through the observation of a significant person to our life experience, usually one or both parents. In the latter situation, anger does not have to be a relative response to danger, fear or frustration, it's merely a learned algorithmic sensory response to a previously experienced situation, one in which anger was a perceived solution to a problem. Ironically, in my experience, most anger issues are a response to the learned method and not a consequence of the fear or fight or flight response.
So, if you have anger issues and are looking for an effective treatment that will help you manage your anger, be it in Singapore or anywhere else, then this is the right place for you to be. I've been helping people with anger for almost 21 years. Consequently, I have thousands of hours of experience using hypnotherapy to help clients with Anger Management! But before you go any further, let me ask you another question; is anger really the problem, or is it the symptom of the real problem?
Clients who see me with anger issues are sometimes surprised when I suggest that anger may not be the actual problem! That's because anger is more often a learned response or sometimes a secondary emotion, i.e. the consequence of another emotion. The most common secondary emotion is frustration, be it about life, people, relationships, or just something you cannot overcome. These kinds of things create stress and stress needs an outlet, a way of releasing pent-up emotions and outbursts.
What are some of the causes of anger?
Saying, I am angry, is too narrow a statement, anger, as an emotion, can range from mild irritation to extreme rage or torment. Clients often believe anger is the problem but very often it is the response to the problem, a problem that is often unidentified. While the above gives a general description, which can be helpful when looking for the real problem, it is not always easy to identify the real cause.
As the client tells their story, clues often begin to surface, that hint at the source of the behaviour. While strong emotions or perhaps the stresses of one's life can be a contributing factor, often there is a history behind these issues. The most common link is a relative, e.g. parents or siblings and the anger behaviours are learned as either defence or coping strategies. So, in that context, the liaison between client and therapist becomes one of continued discovery and healing.
Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence) refers to such events as "emotional high-jacking." This emotional highjacking is often the result of the way we suppress other emotions and the anger is the straw that breaks the camel's back! That being the case, perhaps it would be better to uncover the primary emotion; e.g. fear, frustration, disgust, guilt, shame, jealousy or grief, etc.
Anger is actually a function of normal bodily responses to external or internal stimuli. What is not so normal, are the many ways people experience anger. Expressing in the right way can have a positive effect on our lives. However, expressed in a negative way it can have a positively harmful effect on both body and mind. Anger has been around for almost as long as mankind and it is not likely to change anytime soon, but we can! A wise old man once said: "Anyone can become angry, that is so easy. But to become angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not so easy!" - Aristotle
Myth Management
The idea that you cannot control your anger or your behaviour is a myth. You can learn to take control of your anger and your actions at all times. Sometimes it is appropriate to become angry and you can choose to what extent!
In some instances, anger is the result of repetitive neural pathways, and habits if you like! Every time we experience something, the brain calls on past experiences and how we dealt with them. Or even how you observed how other people dealt with them, e.g. parents. siblings etc! How effective they were is not so important as whether survival was the ultimate consequence or outcome. The reason is that the neural processing of anger or its cause, is purely emotional and this occurs outside of logical, cognitive, and rationally based thinking. In essence, it is a function of the primitive primordial mammalian brain; an animal instinct!
It is very common, if not normal, to mismanage anger but learning to express it in a meaningful way, can be even more of a challenge. So be assured if anger is a problem in your life, you are not alone. Many adults have problems with managing their anger, as well as the primary emotions that may actually be driving the anger.
A wise old man once said: "Anyone can become angry, that is so easy. But to become angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not so easy!" - Aristotle
The idea that you cannot control your anger or your behaviour is a myth. You can learn to take control of your anger and your actions at all times. Sometimes it is appropriate to become angry and you can choose to what extent!
In some instances, anger is the result of repetitive neural pathways, and habits if you like! Every time we experience something, the brain calls on past experiences and how we dealt with them. Or even how you observed how other people dealt with them, e.g. parents. siblings etc! How effective they were is not so important as whether survival was the ultimate consequence or outcome. The reason is that the neural processing of anger or its cause, is purely emotional and this occurs outside of logical, cognitive, and rationally based thinking. In essence, it is a function of the primitive primordial mammalian brain; an animal instinct!
One of the major causes of mismanaged anger is simply because we are not taught to handle the emotion of anger as children (and very rarely as adults). If you cry or express sadness, people sometimes feel uncomfortable, if you show signs of happiness others usually join in, but what happens when you express anger? Does anyone say, “It’s okay to feel angry?” As a child, were you ever told it was good to feel angry? As children, most of us were not encouraged to experience or express anger. Often we were reminded that expressing anger negatively can affect others and since we inherently don't like to offend others, we develop a tendency to stifle our emotions!
Ironically, paying too much attention to the feelings of others can be detrimental to our own self-interests. Of course, that doesn't mean we should trample over other people's feelings. But rather it is a wake-up call that as an adult we have obligations, firstly to ourselves, then to others. By learning to effectively express anger in a meaningful way, we almost incidentally learn to better manage our other emotions. Once we learn and understand what is causing our anger, we begin to discover healthy new ways to behave. Hypnosis allows us to subconsciously replace the old unwanted expressions of anger with new more effective ways to behave
From a diagnostic perspective, anger really does fit the bill and the accompanying, often uncontrolled, bursts of anger can be potentially life-limiting or even life-threatening! Sometimes we lose control and out it comes and that often causes more problems because this is often a habitual response, and the cycle of anger ensues. There are, of course, many other emotions that can precede an outburst of anger, e.g. guilt, shame, disgust or fear, etc. Take heart, whatever the cause, hypnotherapy can provide the solution. Of course, this doesn't mean you'll never get angry again, you will, you'll just do it in a better way, the right way!. After all, anger is a natural and sometimes useful emotion; if used wisely and under your control!
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If you would like to know more about the Free Consultation and you can find that here