Making Relationships Work!

Making Life Better!

Uncovering The Issues
Peeling Back The Layers!

In order to get to the answer, you first have to know the question!
Are you in a challenging relationship?
Are you experiencing anxiety or fear over the future?
Do you want a solution to your relationship challenges?

Then hypnotherapy may be the question to your answer!

It is rare that a person who is experiencing difficulty in their relationships to have a good relationship with themselves. If you are experiencing difficulty with a personal or romantic relationship and want to know how to resolve these relational problems, without and thus avoid a catastrophe or a break-up, then maybe I can help you. Often times life feels like it's a constant challenge, sometimes it feels as if every day you are feeling fearful of the future, both your own and that of your relationship! In many ways, this is a result of this internal dynamic between your brain's conflicting experience with itself, as in, who you are and who you think you are and/or, who you think you deserve to be; or not!

So, you will be pleased to hear there is good news on the horizon and that's because of hypnotherapy's unique ability to get to the heart of the matter, be it one of the top relationship problems or one more unique to you. One reason for the confusion is our ability to relate to the many relationship issues stories and how they appear to resonate with our particular circumstances. In my clinical hypnotherapy practice in Singapore, I have been helping couples for over 15 years now (even longer worldwide) and that's because I use a different method and style of therapy than most other therapists I know of. You see, life in the modern world is so much more complicated than it was a few or more years ago and because of that, we need this different approach. Fortunately, while the world has changed, the dynamics of the brain and mind are fundamentally the same, which is really great news because that makes all the difference we need to become happier in our relationships!

Of course, there are many ways to work with couples and many names to go with the methods used, e.g. couples therapy, couples counselling, relationship counselling and using modalities such as counselling, psychotherapy, rational emotive therapy, solution-focused therapy, positive psychology etc. so many in fact it can be a little confusing. But the one component that connects them all, is the brain and mind! So, knowing that, it makes sense to use the method that works best with the subconscious and that method is hypnotherapy (hypnosis-therapy). Hypnosis, as a therapeutic tool, occurs when the brain is in specific brainwave states. It is in that context that I have developed my own view of what the mind actually is and at the most basic level, the mind is the word (nomenclature) that describes the way in which the brain communicates within and across itself (neuro-electrochemical transmission). Therefore, the mind is, "The Langauge of The Brain!" This essentially makes Hypnosis, "The Language of the Mind!" A method that allows us to communicate with the communicator! It is this unique style that makes couples therapy so effective and often delightful, the point at which two people first learn to connect to themselves and then to their partner! In essence, the better the two parts of any relationship, the better the whole will be!

What Do We Actually Mean By Relationships?

When we think of relationships, one may usually be drawn to the stereotypical man-woman union and when we consider, that for most of us, the union between a man and a woman, matrimony or not, is usually the longest and strongest relationship that most of us will ever have. Of course, we live in a more liberal world these days, thankfully, and the relationship of same-sex couples takes on all the same attributes and complexities of the former. Although sometimes the difficulty, in my experience as a therapist, often comes from outside of the relationship in the form of prejudice and bias by others, e.g. parents, friends, bosses and, in a more general sense, society at large.

All relationships are slightly different and the one emotion that connects them all is the emotion we call love. But it is easy to see that love is not just one emotion, think of the love you have for your parents or your children, very clearly a different type of love you have for your spouse. Sexual intimacy is the major driver of this difference and sex creates such an overwhelming love experience, that it can both empower and disempower us, people have killed over the negative emotions of a relationship breakdown course, there are many different types of relationships to consider and all equally as important, e.g. parents, children, friends, colleagues, even casual ones too. And the last but by no means least, in fact, it is the most important of all; is the relationship with one's self.

Without a doubt, the relationship that I deal with the most, in therapeutic terms, is the relationship with ourselves because, when that relationship is poor, it very often spills out into the totality of our life. That aside, one of the most frequent issues that bring people to therapy for a relationship issue, is the relationship between two people, the love relationship! It is often a deterioration, over time, in communication, trust or finances, that a breakdown arises. However, it can also be because of specific circumstances, e.g. one's needs not being met, infidelity, anxiety, stress, depression (often over the long term), jealousy, bereavement and many other kinds of chronic life challenging matters,

Coming Together

Whenever possible I like to work with the trilogy or the totality of any relational unit, i.e. the two people, as individuals, and the two of them as a couple. Or a family as a whole and the individuals who choose to be clients.

It has been my experience that when you help a person or persons improve their sense of self and the inevitable “self-relationship” within that dynamic, all other relationships take on a different perspective and that just makes life, love and relationships seem that little bit easier to manage and enjoy. And if you think of it, if the cause is related to any of the above, helping the client with any personal challenges they have, will often evoke compassion and love by the other towards their common objective!

However, working with couples can often be quite challenging and the functionality of their two mindsets is usually the major component for finding the, or a, solution! Very often it is not what other people think of us that causes the issues we face but rather what we think they think! The logic appears to be, if we do not think much of our-self, why should anyone else? And there is a certain truth to that, although not the truth as we know it but rather the truth as we believe it to be. So, naturally, when we improve the way we feel and think about our own self; all other perspectives usually follow that line!

The dynamics of couples therapy is vast and the journey through therapy can be very intriguing and, like most things in therapy and life, the opposite of what you think you want may actually be what you really want! Sometimes it is the absence of a partner we fear more than the loss of their apparent love? Perhaps the fear of loneliness may be a way to explain that more succinctly?

If you are in a relationship that is failing or moving towards difficulty, why not come in for a free consultation? 


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As of 1 December 2022, all therapy is now Online
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+65 9186 3575