The philosophy of a person is like the foundations of a building, in that the deeper they are, the more they support the weight that may be placed upon them. A quality that is very much dependent on such a depth of conviction is what we now term Psychological resilience. An ability which absorbs the vicissitudes of life, enabling one to bounce back with an even greater intensity and conviction that strengthens and enhances the general philosophy of one’s life. Such a philosophy, I believe, is founded on one’s core values; those of:

• Honesty
• Integrity
• Discretion
• Propriety
• Love
• Empathy and Compassion
• Fairness (to all, including oneself)
• Conviction
• Kindness to all living things (mostly without detriment to ones own safety)
• Care and concern for the planet we occupy, for we must pass it on to the next generation

These are the principles that I use to guide my life, practice and actions. At the same time I am aware that I am in pursuit of these ideals and do not always achieve them. But what sustains me is that I accept who I am right now and willingly forgive myself when I fall short of reaching my desired outcome. Life is, and always will be, a work in progress. Our own personal philosophy are the rules and standards by which we live life and hold ourself accountable. This in itself is a very integral part of my therapeutic philosophy; I teach it as I live it.

One of my fundamental beliefs in life and as a therapist, is that what we teach, by example where appropriate, should reflect who we are. Since we know that a large part of any communication is not just that which is conveyed by the words we use; but also that which comes from our heart (I believe our body language, voice inflection, tonality, mind and words, make up the heart of the person). Therefore, I believe it is imperative, as far as is possible, to convey a sincerity of purpose and intent in the way we live our lives. This, in my opinion, is achieved when we do the right thing, for the right reason and in the right way! By doing this we achieve a harmony of mind, body and spirit that allows us to connect with other people in a way that is attainable by no other means.

It is my desire as a therapist, as it was before I became one, to help another up, to lessen their burden. This has become all the more meaningful since I learned the skills necessary to make this happen.

I came to therapy as a client and having observed the transformation in myself, I now wish to help others achieve the same experience; in their own way. I believe that having done my own therapy was the most useful and meaningful contribution to my ability as a therapist. The major experience for me was that of realising that perhaps our life may not be as coincidental as it may first appear. And that some of the hardships we experience along the way can actually be of more benefit than harm; at least in the larger context of life. The most convincing proof, to me, is that of believing we choose the people we meet in this life; including our enemies and abusers. If we choose them, then what was our purpose? I only ever advance this theory to clients, who believe in reincarnation/past lives. But the import of this philosophy can move them from victim to participant. And potentially towards acceptance and forgiveness, a prerequisite in my opinion to healing.

If asked how long I have been a therapist I often reflect; was it really just the time since I completed my official training’; I think not. For if I had not had the parents I did, the life and the experiences I have had, I do not believe I would be capable of bringing to therapy that most important aspect of my being? So, in essence we are all at various points of the same journey and it is the totality of this experience that determines who we become; relative to how we interpret this experience.

Freud believed that the first 5 years of life determine, to a large extent, who we become. However, having trained as a therapist I disagree with that statement. I believe that we all have the ability to reframe our experience, our thoughts, our behaviour and ultimately our lives. Our past may have shaped who we are; but we have the ability to shape who we become.

I believe being a therapist behoves us to be an example to our clients. It has been my wish to live my therapy, and feel congruent, cognitively associated, harmonious and that my words, body language and voice reflect this to my clients. This, I feel, is an essential part of how I work to the very best of my ability towards the ultimate wellbeing of my client. My client’s welfare is my primary concern; which may include referring the client on, should I feel: (a) That I do not have the experience or skills necessary. (b) That for reasons, which I may or may not be able to fully explain, I do not feel I can offer the client the unconditional positive regard necessary to establish a conducive therapeutic relationship. (c) That the client has not sought the appropriate consent for the therapy they are seeking, e.g. referral/approval from: a doctor, parent, guardian or other legal charge. (d) That known information about a client may/would prevent me offering confidentiality.

Belonging to several governing bodies makes it incumbent on me to uphold their Codes of Ethics, which, to a certain degree, differ immensely. Thus giving me an opportunity to expand not only my personal ethical standards, but also those within my practice.

Client confidentiality is of paramount importance within my life and practice, save that of law and the ultimate protection of the client or connections. Having a client tell me things they claim to have never told any living soul, is a trust beyond that which words can describe and it is my privilege to keep that trust inviolate. It is this bond of trust that allows a client to dare to express that which may just be the catalyst that sets them free from the bondage of their unconscious mind. Creating an atmosphere of trust that provides a client with the confidence that what they say within the therapeutic relationship remains there. And this release may just be the start of their journey to healing and is therefore, potentially, a pivotal point in their therapy.

Helping a client to learn to love and accept themselves for who they are, right now and accepting responsibility for their part in the life they have and the life they can ultimately have is an integral part of my therapy. I firmly believe that once we like and accept what is inside of us, what is on the outside no longer seems to be so important. I believe that achieving happiness is not determined by what we have but rather by what or who we are. Being happy and having things is not the same as needing things to be happy! If we are to believe in a law of attraction, I believe that by being truly happy we attract happiness. Whilst we may not be happy about some of the situations we face we can be happy about the way we choose to respond to them.

I believe in being honest in my dealings with people, which may include withholding information from them to preserve their integrity and wellbeing. Honesty is not always saying what is on your mind but sometimes in considering if the other person wants or needs to hear it. To me honesty is about saying what is in the best interest of a client or anyone else I am with at any particular moment. Of course, this may also include saying what they may not want to hear. The integrity of any message may not necessarily be in the words we use but rather the humanity with which we deliver it. It is also necessary to be honest with myself and to consider my own feelings for I have a duty of care to everyone I interact with including myself.

I believe that I should, and do, extend a courtesy and kindness to others within my chosen profession and beyond, irrespective of my personal feeling towards them; with the proviso that they are working and living within the ethical and legal standards to which they are obligated. And if that is not the case, that I still afford them the courtesy of advising only those who are appropriate to the circumstance All things being equal I afford them friendship, integrity and discretion to the mutual benefit of the profession.

My personal philosophy of life is: That life is truly beautiful and that the world, is a wonderful place; despite any perception to the contrary. Also, that the beauty of life is just as much in the pain, as in the pleasure. The way we interact with life determines the meaning we so necessarily attach to it. And how we respond to life is directly proportionate to what we feel on the inside; if we are filled with love we have a more fulfilling experience than if it were filled with hate. And, most overwhelmingly, we are the person capable of creating the positive state of mind that allows the true beauty of life to flourish.

Thom

+65 9186 3575 or email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Trans4mational Therapy Calming Life's Ripples