Very often we hear people say, “I know what you mean” but do they really? To fully understand someone we need to feel what they feel because meaning comes with feelings and because feelings are so subjective it is often difficult to do. So, how do we get to know what another person means? Perhaps the best way is to ask them or to tell them what you think they meant; you may be surprised by their answer.
One of the best examples of non-listening for me was watching a film called Patch Adams (based on the real life of Patch Adams), starring the late Robin Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Robin has an interview with his psychiatrist, who asks how he is, Robin gives a series of nonsensical answers, to which the psychiatrist answers haha haha. Patch proved his point, the guy wasn’t listening.
So what is my point? It’s that people need to be listened to, they need to be properly understood and that is so important if that understanding relates to a problem or difficulty in their life. So, I make it a point to really understand my clients. I ask lots of questions and some questions that may seem a little abstract, maybe not even connected; but there is a reason! Of course, that takes time; that is one reason my sessions are longer than most other therapists!
Many times I have said, it is not the lack of answers that confounds us, but the lack of questions! If you don’t ask yourself the right questions we don’t direct our mind and emotions to where they need to go.
In some sense, the question to the answer lays within you and it does so in memory. For it is within memories that your future exists. You cannot live a fruitful today without, in some small way, thinking about yesterday, last week, month, year etc. For many, people with psychological or emotional issues, it is the dark memories from the past that haunt them, the trauma, abuse or dire circumstances of their life. But we can learn to leave the past behind by creating mindful healing in the present, here and now and move forward into a brighter, happier future. And in doing so, the creation of better memories, of a brighter future begin to emerge. And that is the major goal of my hypnotherapy practice, to make life, for you; better!
Easier said than done you may say. This is true but; it is possible and it all starts with a good understanding of what is at play!