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Anger management, the answer lays within you

Anger Managment through hypnosis

Do you have an anger issue?

This is Thom Bush, over at the Trans4mational Therapy Centre, Singapore' The Anger Management specialist! But before you answer the above question, let me ask you another; is anger really the problem or merely the consequence of another emotion?

Clients who come to see me, with anger as an issue, are sometimes surprised when I suggest that anger may not be the actual problem! You see, sometimes anger is just the consequence of another emotion? Most usually it is frustration, be it about life, people, relationships or just something you cannot overcome. These things create stress and stress needs an outlet, a way of releasing the pent up emotions, anger really fits that bill. Sometimes we just let it all out and sometimes that can cause more problems and so a cycle ensues. There are of course other emotions that precede an outburst of anger, e.g. guilt, shame, fear etc. Take heart, whatever the cause, hypnotherapy can often provide the solution. This doesn't mean you will never get angry again, of course, you will, you'll just do it in the right way, at the right time and to the right degree; after all, anger is a natural and sometimes useful emotion; if used wisely and under your control!

But let's look a little further. Taking a pragmatic approach, to say I am angry is actually too narrow a statement., anger, as an emotion, can range from mild irritation to extreme rage or torment. Very often clients believe that anger is the problem but it may just be the outward manifestation of another, as of yet, unidentified emotion or perhaps even caused by the stress in one's life!

Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence) refers to such events as "emotional high-jacking." To that end, anger is more often a secondary emotion; the effect of a cause, so to speak! That being the case, perhaps it would be better to uncover the primary emotion; e.g. fear, frustration, guilt, shame, jealousy or grief.

Anger is actually a function of normal bodily responses to external or internal stimuli. What is not so normal, are the many ways people experience anger. Expressed in the right way it can have a positive effect on our lives. However, expressed in a negative way it can have a positively harmful effect on both body and mind. Anger has been around for almost as long as mankind and it is not likely to change anytime soon, but we can!

A wise old man once said: "Anyone can become angry, that is so easy. But to become angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not so easy!"  -  Aristotle

The idea that you cannot control your anger or your behaviour is a myth. You can learn to take control of your anger and your actions at all times. Sometimes it is appropriate to become angry and you can choose to what extent!

In some instances, anger is the result of repetitive neural pathways, habits if you like! Every time we experience something, the brain calls on past experiences and how you dealt with them or even how you observed how other people dealt with them, e.g. parents. siblings etc! How effective they were is not so important as whether survival was the ultimate consequence or outcome. The reason for this is that the neural processing of the emotion of anger, or its cause, is purely emotionally processed and this is outside of logical, cognitive, rationally based thinking. In essence, it is a function of the primitive primordial mammalian brain; an animal instinct!

It is very common, if not normal, to mismanage anger but learning to express it in a meaningful way, can be even more of a challenge. So be assured if anger is a problem in your life, you are not alone.

Many adults have problems with managing their anger, as well as the primary emotions that may actually be driving the anger.

One of the major causes of mismanaged anger is simply because we are not taught to handle the emotion of anger as children (and very rarely as adults). If you cry or express sadness, people sometimes feel uncomfortable, if you show signs of happiness others usually join in, but what happens when you express anger? Does anyone say, “It’s okay to feel angry?” As a child, were you ever told it was good to feel angry? As children, most of us were not encouraged to experience or express anger. Often we were reminded that expressing anger negatively can affect others and since we inherently don't like to offend others, we develop a tendency to stifle our emotions!

Ironically, paying too much attention to the feelings of others can be detrimental to our own self-interests. Of course, that doesn't mean we should trample over other people's feelings. But rather it is a wake-up call that as an adult we have obligations, firstly to ourselves, then to others. By learning to effectively express anger in a meaningful way, we, almost incidentally, learn to manage our other emotions.

Once we learn and understand what is causing our anger, we begin to discover healthy new ways to behave. Hypnosis allows us to subconsciously replace the old unwanted expressions of anger with new more effective ways to behave!

When you are ready to make some powerful changes in your angry behaviour, why not book a course of treatment?

When you are ready to make some powerful changes in your angry behaviour, why not book a course of treatment?

 

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